Khajuraho - A running theme

 Khajuraho - India 

We are rolling to India on this one. A co-worker of mine asked for something from the South Pacific. Pretty close right? Ooooops.

Probably should have listened because this beer was made in September of 2012. I didnt check again, so I guess im going to rename this site, "lets review expired beer".

This beer is supposed to be light, but it tastes anything but. I think that's because its like a year and a half expired and a bit thick. Oh well, carry on.

India is the second most populated country in the world and has 1.2 billion people living there. Think about that. Its ridiculous. Its preposterous. Theres probably people living on top of people on top of lots of human waste. Im sure there is some awesome cities there where people live lavish lives of money and answering your IT calls. But im also sure there are places that people would rather just die. 

The ancient Greeks referred to the people who live in the area as Indoi (Ινδοί), which translates to, "the people of the Indus", which sounds alot like people of the anus. Even the Greeks knew. Must have been a mis-translation

 

 

Just a couple stone statues making love to each other. No big deal right? I mean, lets be honest. 

Your girl lays there like a statue when you make love to her right? You have more in common with this label than you'd like to admit.  Your a terrible lay.

A first! No info on the brewer! Makes me feel even better about the expiration date. 

Want to see the address? Grab a pen and paper:

 

H-7, MIDC Industrial Area, Waluj, Aurangabad, Maharashtra, 431136, Waluj, Wadgaon Kolhati, Maharashtra 431133, India

 

The fuck is that? Looks more like a long ass website URL than it does an address. 

Thats a fucken novel dude. Here, call them

 

 +91 240 255 5198

 

Whats with the + before the 92, before the number? Is that for international calling?

Either way, its fucking stupid. 

 

Its 4.5 ALC by volume, but i mean, its pretty old, so it tastes like 8.0.

Im sure it was light at some point, but its like drinking syrup at this point. 

 

I cant believe my liver even puts up with me. 

The Verdict:

4 out of 10

I mean, im sure it was decent back in 2012, but its 2014 now, and beer isn't wine.  
If you can find this, un-find it, or check the expiration and let me know how that goes for you. Ill probably be shitting my brains out tomorrow. Its going to be almost 80 up here in WNY too. 
Those stone statues making mad love though.

 

Kronenbourg - Spelling?

Kronenbourg 1664 - France -

I had to hold the bottle up to the screen to make sure I had that right. Fucken Kronenbourg.

Its actually a chore to type. Im going to copy and paste it for the rest of this. 

Ive had a lack of posts which I usually say sorry for. I also have an influx of French people visiting here, so Merry Christmas French people.Or whatever it is you celebrate.

Like your aborigines.

 

I have a floating day off during the week. It can happen on a Tuesday, it can happen on a Thursday. Its unpredictable.  You cant tame a work schedule. What you can tame though is someone who parks in the middle of a driveway.  

I give one of my co-workers a ride home every day.

I give that same person a ride to work everyday as well.

It usually costs me my keurig coffee. I bought it not to use it, but I could if I wanted to wake up 5 minutes earlier. Fuck that. Sleep aint cheap.

So this douche, some random guy, parks in the wrong place. He parks in the middle of a driveway that enters a major downtown square in my city. 

We called the cops and watched them roll up and give the guy a ticket.

I kinda hoped he would get towed, and when he didn't, I felt dirty.

Speaking of which, did you know the 7th is national beer day?

Neither did I. Is it a real thing? Im not sure, but ill celebrate it. I love fake holidays that celebrate beer. I love anything that celebrates beer. Im rambling so bad right now.

Welcome to Kronenbourg. Paste. 

Its actually really good. Not Canadian or American good either. I describe American or Canadian good as beer you can drink a lot of and still be pretty happy about it. Its all about quantity here guys, and if theres something im all about , its quantity.  I figure this beer is a lot like our Bud. Its got a small bite though, and its good, and after a few evenings,  im sure will be gone. By gone I mean, the taste. Like who cares. That kind of taste. You know. Ahhhhhhh fuck it.

 

I try to edit every post to the best of my drunk abilities.  Spell check has served me well.  That last little tid-bit, was not supposed to be like it sounded. Its like Labatts or Bud to the French. ok? Fuck off dude.

I cant figure this out. I just had my head in my hands. hahahahahhahahahahah. god damn it.

Kronenbourg brewery was founded in 1664 by Geronimus Hatt in Strasbourg. The name comes from the area, Cronenbourg, where the brewery relocated in 1850. The company is owned by Carlsberg.  Every time these guys come back, and I mean Carlsberg or any of the big soda (pop) or beer guys, come back, I feel like I should hear the villains theme from James Bond. The main brand from Kronenbourg, is, you guessed it, Kronenbourg 1664, a 5.5% pale lager.

Kronenbourg was first brewed in 1952.  A small amount of the Strisselspalt hop, a French aroma hop from Alsace, is being used. If your in the UK, you can find this beer made by Heineken. Weird huh? Yeah.

Everyone's connected. 

The Verdict

8 out of 10

Its the French version of Bud or the Canadian version of Labatts.
If you can locate it, try it out dude. It would be pretty good in a beer pong game if you can find enough to fill the glasses and stun your friends.

Fuck it. Get the 12 or a 2 of em' and drink them all. Piss in your lawn, then start your snow blower and ghost ride that shit right into your neighbors bedroom window.
Your neighbors an asshole.