Chang Beer - Finally.

Chang Beer - Not good-

Before I start this review, I got an email from someone saying I need to correct my grammar and spelling before I post if I want to be taken seriously.

 Fuck off.

 This is a beer site. I write these posts as im drinking, and if I did it sober, Id be just like the guy who emailed that. Im not going to drink this beer and tell you about it next week. Im going to drink it and tell you about it right as I type, because that makes it feel more authentic. Who writes a beer blog sober? Hipsters. Thats who.

I went to Thailand with this beer, and I gotta say, Im happy I finally found a shit brew. When I first started this site, I wanted to search the globe for some of the worlds weirdest and most shit beer. Though I have definitely found weird beer, its also been pretty good so far.  I really want to find beer that would make me want to quit drinking every time I tip my bottle up. This is as close as Ive gotten so far. Cant believe a beer from Thailand made it happen. Sense my sarcasm?

 If you know of a beer that's not from the U.S. that's god awful, please use the "contact us" part of the site to tell me about it. Ill try to feature what I can get a hold of.

This beer is brewed in Ayutthaya, Thailand. Got that? Yeah, me neither.

The city has a population of 300,000 people which all ride elephants to work. The roadways are extra wide. It was burned down in 1767 by the Burmese army. 

I cant imagine why. 

Its often called the Venice of the east, which is convenient since I wish the waters would rise.

You can almost always tell a beer is going to be shitty by simply seeing a gold wrap around the neck, and as the saying goes, you cant polish a turd. Upon first drink, its not great, but its not bad. The aftertaste however is something id liken to drinking goat piss. Its god awful.

Fun fact:  Carlsberg and Chang established a joint venture in 2000, Carlsberg Asia, to try to create a significant brewing company in Asia. In 2005, Carlsberg pulled out from the venture and terminated the license agreement with Chang. I wonder why? Could be the lack of quality. Anyways, Carlsburg had to pay 120 milllion bucks which I find to be absurd. Thaibev, which makes Chang, didn't put any of that money into making the beer better. I promise.

Shitty beer makes writing these more fun. 

The Verdict:

4 out of 10

Stay away. The elephant on the box filled with beer should be enough. Your friends and family will tell you to never judge a book by its cover but in this case, go right ahead. 

Tusker Lager - The pride of Africa

Tusker Lager- Kenya

Unreal

Tusker Ale is awesome. Its got an awesome story as well, and Ill tell you. Its made in Kenya, and has the market at 30 percent. Its 4.2 as well which by Coors Light standard, is great. First marketed in 1923, It was started after the founder of Kenya Breweries, George Hurst, was killed by an elephant during a hunting accident. Seriously? Hilarious. So they named it Tusker. 

If i get gored by any animal, name a beer after me. Call it mouse, cuz mice gore the fuck out of people. Seen your attic? yeah, check it. 

Nothing says import like a white ass generic box with a print out.

Out of the beer ive tried so far, Its the best.

Imagine being in Africa after a hards day poaching and going to a.......bar? Whatever they call a bar there.....

"Give me a fucken Tusker"

Your dreams realized. Your welcome.

A shotgun strapped to your back. A satchel with the finest ivory. The glory of offloading it without being prosecuted. 

The Verdict

10 out of 10

This shits the real deal. I don't give the slightest fuck if you have to go to Africa to get it, its in your best interest to try the shit out of this, its seriously that good.