Beerlao! Scream it in battle

Beerlao - Laos -

I wanted shitty beer in the worst way. I went into my beer spot looking for it. I didnt want good taste, I didnt want a surprise. I went in there looking for something that looked like it was going to taste like the bottom of a shoe. What I got was not what I wanted, but a surprise non the less. It was awesome. 

Looking at the box and seeing it was made in Laos, I was sure I had some certified mule piss. Where the fuck is Laos anyways? I had to look. 

Laos is snuggled right next to Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia. I cant believe I didn't die. 

Fun fact: They love communism.

They would be so mad to know I like their beer and also like capitalism.

It should all add up to one shitty beer, but nay. Its kick ass.

These guys take their beer seriously. The hops and yeast are imported from Germany and based on locally grown jasmine rice. The shits legit and its won a few awards internationally. They also have the stranglehold on beer in Laos, 99 percent of it. The Cambodian shit must not be selling well, and the Vietnamese beer has a strong taste of napalm. That being said, I want to try a beer from both of these countries. 

Beerlao has a U.S. micro brew taste, and I quickly thought of Dogfish Head when I had my first bottle. Smooth going down, and It didnt come back up so thats always a plus.

The Verdict

I highly suggest Beerlao. Im not sure where your going to find it, but find it. You'll make your friends wonder and make fun of you for drinking it until that have a swig and realize that it tastes better than their Natty Ice.

8 out of 10 

Saddle up on the Red Horse. Kinda.

Red Horse Beer - Philippines -

 

I walked into my local brick and mortar booze shop looking for something to make a hard days work fade away. I walked out with 6 of these bastards. 

I admittedly know jack shit about the Philippines. I know its on the other side of the world, and I know, or at least think, people there are generally quite dirty. I could be wrong. 

Im probably wrong. 

I walked out of that store with my head held high, but my expectations low. Should they have been low? With a population of over 97 million people, you would think at least a few of them would know how to make a decent brew right? Its the 12th most populated country in the world, there's got to be a few people there who know what they are doing. I bet they work for Red Horse, I thought to myself when I got home. Hell yeah. 

Fucken Red Horse dude.

I sat down and popped the top off the first beer. It kinda smelled like what I imagine the crypts under Paris smell like. The beer came a long way to get to me. I dismissed the stink and took the plunge. God damnit. 

It tasted like if you where to fill a cup up half way with wine, and the other half with beer. It was beer wine. It was gross. I dont throw or dump beer out. Thats bullshit. I kept drinking it. I drank that beer and pretended that I was a underpaid Filipino textile worker that hasn't slept in days. 

That's just what I feel most of the people there do. Like I said before, I'm wrong.

After the 3rd beer, It didn't taste so bad. I attribute that to the beer actually destroying my taste buds.

THE VERDICT

Its not good beer. It actually kinda sucks. The novelty of having a beer in my hands from the Philippines wore off about as fast as that first sip. Its 7.0 percent alcohol contect, so I guess its got that going for it. Meh.

3 out of 10